


Shining Miracle

by pianofortemonologue



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Healing, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, References to Depression, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:48:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23437201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pianofortemonologue/pseuds/pianofortemonologue
Summary: A short one-shot in which Sakurauchi Riko finds herself after struggling for so long.
Relationships: Sakurauchi Riko & Takami Chika
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Shining Miracle

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! The main inspiration for this fic was... well. Something. I see a bunch of fics in the Love Live! tags that reference depression or self harm, a few in specific come to my mind. This was just a short thing, so of course there's not much detail on it, but I can't believe that it has to be said -- 
> 
> Depression and self harm aren't weird, crazy things to use for plot devices. People who self harm aren't any different than normal people. Not everyone who's mentally ill is a schizophrenic that hears voices in the back of their head-- it's a very, very complex thing, mental illness, and self harm is a completely different subject. If you want to write about this, please, please, consider doing some research before doing the most stereotypical things.

When Riko first moves to Numazu, she can’t hear the sound of music resonating through her head anymore. She wondered if she would ever be able to hear it again after the incident in Tokyo.

If she didn’t, what would she do? Music was the only thing that she was good at after all.

Riko stacks her now empty moving boxes together, then falls back onto the futon on the floor. She will be starting her first day at Uranohoshi Girls’ School tomorrow - in such a quaint, closely-knit town, how is she supposed to make friends? She’s sure that every other girl is far, far more interesting than her boring, uncreative self.

The ex-pianist tries to blur her thoughts out of her head, but they fight back stronger than ever.

-

“Do you wanna be a school idol?” A girl brighter than the sun asks Riko, the most brilliant smile on her face. 

Riko can’t bear the thought of letting someone down again. “No thank you.”

It happens three more times that day. She’s asked countless times from this girl that just won’t give up on her, and whenever she looks at her supposed friend, the ash-haired student just laughs, giving Riko a shrug. 

Denying her three times should be enough, right?

-

“How many times do I have to say no?! I’m not fit to be an idol! Why can’t you just understand that?!” Riko screams, eyes brimming with tears, her face flushed red. “I can’t sing! I can’t dance! I can’t even make music anymore! It’s so frustrating that you keep asking me! ‘Riko-chan, Riko-chan, do you wanna be a school idol?’ Even if I wanted to be,” she pauses, taking a deep breath. “Even if I wanted to be, I… I can’t…”

Chika doesn’t say anything. She steps closer, Riko steps back, but before Riko can run, Chika hugs her. Tight enough so that Riko can’t breathe through her gasps and sobs. 

“It’s okay,” Chika says. “It’s okay, Riko-chan.” She tucks Riko’s hair behind her ear, running her fingers through her hair. “You don’t have to sing, or dance, or do anything. Could we be friends, at least?”

Riko nods.

-

And once again, Riko hates herself. She locks herself in her room, digs in one of her cluttered drawers and hikes up her skirt, already scarred thighs looking like a fresh canvas for her. She promised herself she would stop doing this, and knows that it’s only going to make her hurt more - but she can’t seem to stop fucking up. At least, at least with this, she won’t need to focus on her fuck ups, but instead the stinging pain on her thighs.

...Riko wonders why she’s hesitating. 

Just as the blade barely scrapes skin, Riko freezes, looking out of her window, seeing that same bright girl wave at her once again. She doesn’t think Chika can see her, but --

“Riko-chaaan! Wanna come over? I wanna talk!” Chika yells a little too loudly, her voice echoing. She awkwardly laughs.

Riko sighs. “Okay,” she weakly yells back. She’ll get back to this.

-

Riko wasn’t expecting to let all of her feelings out to Chika, in fact, she wasn’t expecting to feel at all, but here she was, crying on her, apologizing through spilled tears. 

Chika doesn’t say anything. She’s silent for the entire time; and even after Riko stops crying, she’s quiet, calm, collected. She dries Riko’s tears, offering her a bottle of mikan juice, a small smile on her lips.

“You can’t hear the sound of your heart anymore, huh, Riko-chan?”

Riko takes a sip. “Y- You mean with my music? Yeah… I- I just don’t have any-” she gulps back tears, “inspiration, or, motivation… anymore. It’s… hard.”

“And it’s important to you, right?”

“It’s more important to me than anything.”

“I know what to do.”

“...Huh?” 

“Just trust me!” Chika smiles, hurrying up, offering her hand to Riko.

She doesn’t hesitate to take it.

-

Underneath the cold sea, Riko’s eyes dart open. A sound echoes through not just her head, but her heart, her body - and suddenly, she wants to play the piano again. To play her piano again. 

-

“Did ya’ hear anything, Riko-san?” You asks, perched over on the bars of their boat. 

“...I did.” Riko smiles. 

It’s her first genuine smile in a long, long time.

-

And when Riko’s fingers hit the keys of her piano, they can’t stop.

Maybe she’s had it in her all along.

-

It’s only after Riko joins Aqours, and their small little idol group grows, that she realizes how _important_ she is, how loved and cherished and just how - 

_Cherished_ she is. She isn’t boring, or uncreative, or dull - in fact, she hasn’t thought of herself as that for so long now. Through the radiance of everyone else, she just so happened to find her own spark.

As she steps up onto the rooftop, clad in blues and whites, surrounded by her friends, her passion -

She feels unstoppable. 

  
  


_Ah! No matter where we go, never forget_

_Brightest Melody_

_We have always wanted to be here_

_Everyone's feelings are definitely one_

_(Singing forever with everyone)_

_But there is a road ahead of us_

_with all kinds of futures, towards to the next excitement..._


End file.
